The year of the baby

I've been a negligent blogger here lately. Mostly that is because the majority of things flying around in my head these days I have been hesitant to put out into public domain. After a lot of thought though, I have decided that I will be a bit more open with what all is going on in my life and see how it feels from there. Many of you have started to hear the tales anyway!

2012, which Ryan and I have coined "the year of home improvements" has come to a close. And while we did many home improvements in 2012, we also were dealing with the beginnings of some infertility struggles. Most everyone will tell you that it can take a long time to get pregnant, that you have to be patient, etc. I buy all of that. And I did try to be patient (which, as many of you know, is not my strong suit.) However, this past March (roughly 8 months after I had gone off of birth control) I decided to switch doctors as I didn't care for my OBGYN particularly and wanted someone who may be a little quicker to see what was going on in the world of fertility.

The new doctor had a plan and it sounded like a decent one to me. Some blood tests to see where we were at and progressive levels of aggressiveness as time went on. So after a few months of post ovulation progesterone tests (which were most often low and occasionally borderline), the doctor started me on Clomid (which is apparently the drug of first defense for all things infertility.) Month after month, my numbers were not much different and after about 4 months, I was starting to get a little concerned with the route we were taking. I began asking more questions and trying to move things forward and was met with some resistance. Finally in November, our doctor agreed to do an IUI (inter uterine insemination) as he felt (finally) that this may improve our chances. However at the scheduled appointment it became clear that IUI and Clomid would not likely do the trick. So, in one fell swoop (or so it felt) that doctor washed his hands of us and sent us off to see a specialist.

I fervently wish we had started with a specialist earlier, but hindsight is 20/20. I basically feel that we wasted 6 months of drugging me up on Clomid. But, alas, there is nothing I can do about that.

Not being as ready to accept just any doctor this time, we've done a few consultations and I believe have landed with a fertility clinic that we feel pretty comfortable with. It seems to be clear that IVF (invitro fertilization - or the old time term, test-tube baby) is the best shot we have (which I had never even considered until about 1.5 months ago.) It seems so extreme, yet, as I've researched it more, I've learned that it would be used SO much more if more people had insurance coverage for it. Instead insurance companies don't cover it (or most fertility treatments) and people go into debt trying to have a family. Luckily, my insurance company does cover IVF (a fact that I feel utterly blessed for). Don't get me wrong, it's still costly, but the insurance makes it more affordable than adoption (which is another sad commentary on our time.)

So now we're on the exciting (and super frustrating) journey of insurance approvals and tests galore. If my insurance approves the recommended treatment, we will likely move forward with an IVF egg retrieval date in mid-February, which seems ridiculously fast and yet not fast enough at the same time. At this point I am honestly keeping my fingers crossed that we are able to move forward with this as the back and forth is driving me crazy. (Even as I type this the superstitious streak in me flares up and says "you'll jinx it if you write about it.") I never thought I would look forward to IVF treatments, but we're ready to get this show on the road.  

As the journey has continued I've noticed a big need in myself to share everything that's going on. I think about it constantly and it makes me feel a little less crazy to speak with others about it, rather than keeping it all internal. I hope that this blog will not turn in to infertility posts alone, but I do hope that it gives me a forum to share the updates, the struggles and (hopefully) the successes as they come.

So, as we kick off a new year, Ryan and I have dubbed 2013 "the year of the baby." While there are no guarantees, we'll be giving it our best shot and we'll certainly appreciate all the positive thoughts and energy you can send our way.

Oh, and next week, we'll be on the sandy beach in the Dominican Republic so don't worry - those posts should be much less deep! :-)